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Welcome to the world's most dangerous Improv show, where two mighty teams of gladiators will take the stage to prove who is the best of the best. This is not an exhibition. This is a no-holds-barred competition. The audience determines the winner each week via secret ballot. The winner returns the following week to defend their title against a new challenger. Thursday's at 10:00 pm
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| SPAGHETTI Sticks Around, Kicks Out MICHAEL & JUSTIN August 23, 2025 |
| Life can be a marathon, life can be a sprint, but this past Thursday, life in the TETRAGON proved itself to be a RELAY RACE as MICHAEL & JUSTIN became the second team in a row to have budding run NIPPED before it could fully bloom. SPAGHETTI, hitherto promoted as the preeminent pasta-persuaded team of the Magnet Theater, TOOK DOWN reigning champs, the terrific twoprov titans MICHAEL & JUSTIN. It was two against four in the TETRAGON, Cage-a-Maniacs, but both teams gave an INCALCULABLE number of laughs to the audience. Will SPAGHETTI buck the recent trend and snag a SECOND WIN next week? Or will the stinging snips of Atropos cut short yet another streak? Loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, you KNOW there’s only one way to find out! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| MICHAEL & JUSTIN Muscle and Jostle Opposition, Take UP TO NO GOD Down August 21, 2025 |
| A lot can happen in one week: a baby can born, a river can be drained, and a nascent CAGE MATCH victory run can be stifled. Well, CAGE-A-MANIACS, we're not certain if the first two occurred, but this enterprising intellect would bet dollars to donuts that the last one went down just this past Thursday. It all went down where the GREATEST stories are known to occur: in the CAGE MATCH TETRAGON--MICHAEL & JUSTIN, who intrepid CAGE-A-MANIACS might recall from their victory last month in CAGE MATCH DUO, reentered the ring last Thursday ready to wield their wiry wits against last week's champions UP TO NO GOD. UP TO NO GOD, who unseated previous champs HOOPTY last week, brought their usual blend of rowdy rapaciousness and grounded gravitas to the stage--but when fire met the flames, the inferno burned brightly and there were only four legs left standing when the inferno coughed up its last embers. MICHAEL & JUSTIN, once known only as DUO champions, have crossed over into the regular season. How will they fare against upcoming challengers SPAGHETTI? CAGE-A-MANIACS, I don't have to tell YOU the only way to find out! See you... in the TETRAGON!!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| UP TO NO GOD Gets Up to Good ‘Prov, Hampers HOOPTY’s Hot Streak August 12, 2025 |
| A storied run was cut down just shy of its lucky heptadic victory this past Thursday in the CAGE MATCH ARENA. HOOPTY, who made headlines for finally felling the outwardly unbeatable GO DUMMY! and who went on to soar up to the second seed, was finally struck down by the divine comedy of UP TO NO GOD. They say three words are inscribed on the crystal glassware in the Devil’s dining room: “Anything Can Happen!” And those words are proved truer and truer EVERY THURSDAY in the CAGE MATCH ARENA. Was it not Wordsworth’s worthy quill which inked the apt aphorism, “Shed not a tear for the fallen warrior, lest you mourn a victory?” Well, regardless of which poet penned that perennial parable, one fact remains: HOOPTY may be out of the regular competition--but this inquiring intelligence believes we’ll be seeing them again in the CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS! And now, we set our sights on the dazzling derring-do of UP TO NO GOD. Are we at the beginning of another epic run; or are we at the end of a fizzling flash in the pan of ‘prov? Loyal CAGEAMANIACS, you know there’s only one way to find out! We’ll see you THIS THURSDAY... IN THE CAGE!!!!!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| HOOPTY Hollers, 'Huzzah!' as GO DUMMY! Goes Down June 22, 2025 |
| In the endless waltz of history, it is said there are only two universal truths: empires rise and empires fall. This postulated proverb was proved once again this past Thursday, when GO DUMMY!--whose elephantine ELEVEN-WIN run marks the longest CAGE MATCH run in almost a decade--was felled by the forces of plucky upstarts HOOPTY. HOOPTY, a hitherto unknown indie team made up of many familiar faces from the hallowed halls of UCB, fell GO DUMMY! just as the Visigoths routed Rome more than fifteen hundred years ago. Will HOOPTY dawn a dynasty to rival GO DUMMY!’s? Or will the sands of time swallow HOOPTY with a win count still in the single digits? CAGEAMANIACS, you know there’s only one way to find out. Every vote counts and every vote is counted. Will your vote be the single grain of rice that tips the scales from defeat to victory? BE THERE to find out! We’ll see you--IN THE ARENA!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| GO DUMMY! Goes Double Digits! June 10, 2025 |
| The great sickle of history has swept again over the fields of the impossible: a Cage Match team has gone into a DOUBLE DIGIT win-streak! The feat, a statistical anomaly, has been seen in arena for more than FIVE YEARS. The harbingers of this miraculous masterstroke of merit? Why, none other than indie darlings GO DUMMY!, whose wild, untamed imago of improv has delighted audiences near and far. Loyal CAGEAMANIACS may recall that that GO DUMMY!'s last Cage Match run--way, way back in the halcyon days of 2022--was interrupted only the intervention of the inept "Seven Win" law which stated that all teams must be retired after a seven win streak. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and that miserably myopic memorandum was mercifully murdered. Does a team exist that withstand the crushing comedic chops of GO DUMMY!? CAGEAMANIACS, if there is, you won't want to miss THAT showdown! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| GO DUMMY! Goes Distance, Sends STEVEN AND PATRICK Packing April 10, 2025 |
| Like the great philosopher Ed Robertson said long ago, "It's been... one week," and never have those words rung any truer than today, when, one mere week ago, indie dynasty GO DUMMY! struck down the tender pre-teen run of dynamic duo STEVEN AND PATRICK. Another philosopher put it another way: "Time is a flat circle!" Yes, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, it's happened for the third time in a row: a team knocked out of the running just shy attaining the coveted Cage Match Triple Crown--that's three wins in a row for any of you not in the know. Let's pringle a third philosophical ponderance into the pot: "Now you know--and knowing is half the battle." GO DUMMY!--famed for their epic seven win-streak in 2021--no doubt hopes to recapture the glory of that bygone season and take home the Cage Match Championship this year. Will these DUMMIES be the first team to ring the bell thrice? Or will PIE TOWN--who made it all the way to CAGE MATCH CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS last year--temper their three-win hopes by running the vote this evening? You and I both know, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, there's only one way to find out. See you in the arena!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| STEVEN AND PATRICK Say, "Hell Nah!" to HELL YEAH March 26, 2025 |
| Not since Romulus and Remus in the bygone days of Ancient Rome has there been a rivalry as great as the one between musical improv and twoprov. Yes, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, is was battle between two primal forces as different in essence as fire and ice: beloved musical improv sensation HELL YEAH entered the Arena last Thursday with high hopes of becoming the first team this season to take a hat-trick--but those dreams were dashed by the daring dynamism of darling duo STEVEN AND PATRICK! Why is this post almost a full week, you ask, dear reader? Leave us say, our head has only just stopped spinning! Let me tell you with utmost sincerity, dearest Cage-a-Maniacs: if massive shakeups were boysenberries and white-knuckle excitement was yoghurt, we'd have spent all week eating delicious parfaits! Spring has sprung, gentle Cage-a-Maniacs--but what other excitements will be sprung upon us this season? We'll be with you to find out this Thursday--in the ARENA! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| HELL YEAH! Gets "Hell Yeah!" From Audience, Tosses SANTOS March 7, 2025 |
| It is said that the deserts of time are littered with the bones of upstart empires--and this was proved true once more in the Cage Match Arena last night. MERCY SANTOS, the wild indie sensation, was riding high on last week's win when musical improv dynamos, HELL YEAH!, stormed the stage to strike SANTOS with a symphonic smackdown. MERCY SANTOS gave as good as they got, but when the dust settled, it was HELL YEAH! who ultimately got the yea from the audience. Musical improv has long been absent from the hallowed Cage Match Arena and loyal Cage-a-Maniacs are now watching with bated breath to see if HELL YEAH!'s victory is the beginning of a run not only for the tempo'd team but also for musical improv in general. Stay tuned, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs--Thursday is anything-can-happen day! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| MERCY SANTOS Defies THE PROPHECY, Shows No Mercy February 28, 2025 |
| It was an evening marked with both laughter and lacrymaria tonight in the Cage Match Arena, with indie merrymakers MERCY SANTOS ending the lauded two-win run of Harold team THE PROPHECY. Traveling by airplane, long thought to be comedy's beaten dead horse, was reinvented by not just one but BOTH teams to stunningly hilarious heights. But like all great victories, MERCY SANTOS' win was not gained without sacrifice--and, dear Cage-a-Maniacs, it is our sad duty to inform you that when the laughs faded and the arc lamps came on, the audience was left to stare agape at not one but TWO casualties: long-time UCB bentwood chairs CHAIRLES and CHAIRMANE. The chairs, which moved to the Upright Citizens Brigade early last year after a long and storied run at Broadway's own Wintergarden Theater. Chairles and Chairmane are survived by their three children, Chairster, Rechair, and Ben. But cry not, Cage-a-Maniacs, because the pair died doing what they loved: being sat on. In lieu of flowers, the family requests letting a chair sit on you for once. It just goes to show you, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs: ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE ARENA!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
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