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Welcome to the world's most dangerous Improv show, where two mighty teams of gladiators will take the stage to prove who is the best of the best. This is not an exhibition. This is a no-holds-barred competition. The audience determines the winner each week via secret ballot. The winner returns the following week to defend their title against a new challenger. Thursday's at 10:00 pm
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| GO DUMMY! Goes Distance, Sends STEVEN AND PATRICK Packing April 10, 2025 |
| Like the great philosopher Ed Robertson said long ago, "It's been... one week," and never have those words rung any truer than today, when, one mere week ago, indie dynasty GO DUMMY! struck down the tender pre-teen run of dynamic duo STEVEN AND PATRICK. Another philosopher put it another way: "Time is a flat circle!" Yes, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, it's happened for the third time in a row: a team knocked out of the running just shy attaining the coveted Cage Match Triple Crown--that's three wins in a row for any of you not in the know. Let's pringle a third philosophical ponderance into the pot: "Now you know--and knowing is half the battle." GO DUMMY!--famed for their epic seven win-streak in 2021--no doubt hopes to recapture the glory of that bygone season and take home the Cage Match Championship this year. Will these DUMMIES be the first team to ring the bell thrice? Or will PIE TOWN--who made it all the way to CAGE MATCH CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS last year--temper their three-win hopes by running the vote this evening? You and I both know, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, there's only one way to find out. See you in the arena!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| STEVEN AND PATRICK Say, "Hell Nah!" to HELL YEAH March 26, 2025 |
| Not since Romulus and Remus in the bygone days of Ancient Rome has there been a rivalry as great as the one between musical improv and twoprov. Yes, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, is was battle between two primal forces as different in essence as fire and ice: beloved musical improv sensation HELL YEAH entered the Arena last Thursday with high hopes of becoming the first team this season to take a hat-trick--but those dreams were dashed by the daring dynamism of darling duo STEVEN AND PATRICK! Why is this post almost a full week, you ask, dear reader? Leave us say, our head has only just stopped spinning! Let me tell you with utmost sincerity, dearest Cage-a-Maniacs: if massive shakeups were boysenberries and white-knuckle excitement was yoghurt, we'd have spent all week eating delicious parfaits! Spring has sprung, gentle Cage-a-Maniacs--but what other excitements will be sprung upon us this season? We'll be with you to find out this Thursday--in the ARENA! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| HELL YEAH! Gets "Hell Yeah!" From Audience, Tosses SANTOS March 7, 2025 |
| It is said that the deserts of time are littered with the bones of upstart empires--and this was proved true once more in the Cage Match Arena last night. MERCY SANTOS, the wild indie sensation, was riding high on last week's win when musical improv dynamos, HELL YEAH!, stormed the stage to strike SANTOS with a symphonic smackdown. MERCY SANTOS gave as good as they got, but when the dust settled, it was HELL YEAH! who ultimately got the yea from the audience. Musical improv has long been absent from the hallowed Cage Match Arena and loyal Cage-a-Maniacs are now watching with bated breath to see if HELL YEAH!'s victory is the beginning of a run not only for the tempo'd team but also for musical improv in general. Stay tuned, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs--Thursday is anything-can-happen day! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| MERCY SANTOS Defies THE PROPHECY, Shows No Mercy February 28, 2025 |
| It was an evening marked with both laughter and lacrymaria tonight in the Cage Match Arena, with indie merrymakers MERCY SANTOS ending the lauded two-win run of Harold team THE PROPHECY. Traveling by airplane, long thought to be comedy's beaten dead horse, was reinvented by not just one but BOTH teams to stunningly hilarious heights. But like all great victories, MERCY SANTOS' win was not gained without sacrifice--and, dear Cage-a-Maniacs, it is our sad duty to inform you that when the laughs faded and the arc lamps came on, the audience was left to stare agape at not one but TWO casualties: long-time UCB bentwood chairs CHAIRLES and CHAIRMANE. The chairs, which moved to the Upright Citizens Brigade early last year after a long and storied run at Broadway's own Wintergarden Theater. Chairles and Chairmane are survived by their three children, Chairster, Rechair, and Ben. But cry not, Cage-a-Maniacs, because the pair died doing what they loved: being sat on. In lieu of flowers, the family requests letting a chair sit on you for once. It just goes to show you, loyal Cage-a-Maniacs: ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE ARENA!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| THE PROPHECY Fulfilled: FULL OF BONES Defeated February 14, 2025 |
| Loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, have you ever seen such a thing?! Two games into our already legendary TWENTY-FIFTH SEASON and the reigning champ has already been ousted. Indie all-stars FULL OF BONES put on an incredible show last night that was both full of hilarity and also strangely informative about the policies of Cage Match sponsor Target. But, as foretold in legend, they were stopped by a prophecy--or should we say, they were stopped Harold Team titans THE PROPHECY. THE PROPHECY brought a unique mix of larger than life characters and graphic oral sex jokes, that came together to spell one word: VICTORY! Will THE PROPHECY be the first team this season to go on a wining streak? The crystal ball may know all and see all, but we'll never tell--you'll just need to see it for yourself! Cage-a-Maniacs, we'll see you next week, same Cage time, same Match channel! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| FULL OF BONES is Full of Votes in Season Opener February 10, 2025 |
| After the wild electric roar of last week's TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS, the Cage Match Arena was once again a hotbed of white-knuckle excitement when indie sensations FULL OF BONES and DEADASS LOVE YOU took the stage. Both teams presented sets awash with thrilling action and striking bon mots--but in the end, it was FULL OF BONES that walked away with the title. One show into the season and the excitement is already almost too hot to handle, too cold to hold. What shocking delights will future teams bring to celebrate TWENTY-FIVE DANGEROUS YEARS OF CAGE MATCH??! Loyal Cage-a-Maniacs, you'll just have to come down to the arena to find out! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| Congratulations to DUCHOVNY! February 3, 2025 |
| Congratulations to DUCHOVNY for winning the 2024 Cage Match Contest of Champions! Despite the relentless onslaught of yucks brought forth by indie dynamos THE LAKE AT DAWN, DUCHOVNY ultimately won out with a powerful mix of rapid-fire scenework and grounded humanity. Our hats go off to DUCHOVNY, who makes us want to believe. Due to supply chain issues, neither the net nor the nachos were available at game time--but the sold out crowd was laughing too hard to notice! Yes, it was a great day to be a Cage-a-Maniac, and we are proud to announce that the 2024 championship was the all-time most attended show of all time, with a whopping 163,002 audience members in attendance. We'd like to offer a special things to NYC Mayor Eric Adams for sneaking in with a shadowy, mysterious figure--this small act of fire code violation has put us into the record books! We'll see all you loyal Cage-a-Maniacs in the 2025 season--starting NEXT WEEK!!! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| THE LAKE AT DAWN Steps on TIPTOE, Moves on to Championship January 25, 2025 |
| The final salvo of the CAGE MATCH: CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS: SEMIFINALS was heard last Thursday evening and, when the smoke cleared and the dust settled, there was only one team last standing. Attendees and readers of headlines know I, of course, refer to indie darlings THE LAKE AT DAWN. Despite an incredible set from Harold house team TIPTOE, which utilized the rapier-wit and smoldering chemistry of the 3/4 of the team in attendance, THE LAKE AT DAWN claimed victory with a set of such ferocity and velocity that the puritans of old would have branded the team as witches. TIPTOE will return next season--but THE LAKE AT DAWN will be back next week to take on DUCHOVNY for the title of WORLD CHAMPIONS 2024. As the good book tells us, "Be there or be square," and, dear Cage-a-maniacs, if I were you, I wouldn't want to be a square. We'll see you next week when the 2024 CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS has its final round. Only one team will win--and it's all up to you! |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
| DUCHOVNY Dooms SLOP's Semifinal Desires January 19, 2025 |
| Another Championship shakeup occurred Thursday night in the first round of Semifinals, as sixth seed DUCHOVNY managed knock first seed SLOP out of the contest to guarantee their spot in the Finals. SLOP put up an excellent show, with each member drawing hearty chuckles from the crowd through their use of physical comedy acumen and razor-sharp witticisms. But it was DUCHOVNY who ultimately won the day by harnessing a fiery combination of lightning quick mayhem-comedy moves and slow-burn thunderous callbacks. Cage-a-maniacs, you better believe that this truly was one for the ages! To top off the already overflowingly excellent festivities, toxic superstar DFW made his Cage Match debut to guest host with notorious party monster FUN BOY RANDY. If you missed it, you messed up--but fret not! There is more Cage Match MADNESS coming to UCB next week for the final round of the Semifinals. If you're not there, YOU'RE A CHUMP! And you're not a chump... right? |
| Posted by K.I.N.G. link |
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